Emotional Intelligence: Ages birth to 12 years old

Children, ages birth to age 12, have the total opportunity to learn Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is an imporatant Leadership Characteristic that is necessary in all successful leaders. Emotional Intelligence, or social emotional development, is developed at a young age through schooling, for example. I, specifically, have three years of professional experience as an Assistant Montessori Teacher teaching children ages 18 months to six years old. This blog will provide information on why emotional intelligence is important in a leader, my personal experience in supporting the development of this skill within a school setting, and what emotional intelligence or leadership looks like in a child aged 0-12 years old.

To begin, the dictionary defines Emotional Intelligence as, ‘the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically’. Let’s focus on how emotional intelligence is important to develop at a young age. Developing this skill or characteristic allows a child to build on this strength and move forward to learn other important leadership skills. A noteworthy quote states, “Youth leadership is a relatively new strand and more recent research is emerging that makes links between childhood development and leadership potential” (Bennetts, p.357). Bennetts supports the idea that focusing on this skill while a child is developing impacts ‘leadership potential’. I couldn’t agree more! Emotional Intelligence is necessary in all successful leaders. Ages birth to about 12 years old is the perfect time to begin practicing emotional intelligence.

My professional and personal experience as an Assistant Toddler Teacher at a Montessori school in Cincinnati, Ohio taught me that I can support a child’s development of emotional intelligence. Not only this, but I could even add social emotional learning into the actual curriculum! For example, I was working with a two year old student that was expressing their frustration by screaming, yelling, and crying. At this age, this behavior is common and expected. However, as an educator, I took this as an opportunity to sit with the upset child, validate and name their feelings, and guide them through it. To do this, I said to the child, “I see you are crying and yelling. This tells me you might be feeling angry and frustrated. Let’s take some deep breaths so we can work through this.” Interestingly, when I named the emotion, the child’s eyes widened, their crying momentarily faltered, and they took a moment to process the idea that ‘Oh, this feeling is anger and frustration, I now know to take deep breaths to calm myself before I address what is triggering these emotions.’ To me, this is a perfect example of a child becoming aware of their emotions, controlling them, and how to express them in a more conductive manner next time.

All in all, “Children can learn many skills…such as emotional control, self-discipline and emotional intelligence.” (Hadi. p. 16). People from a young age are learning leadership skills! If this child continues to develop this skill and master it, they will be setting themselves up for success in the present and future. Children have the capability to lead themselves (their emotions and behaviors) if they have the correct support and room to develop this leadership characteristic.

References

Hadi, Kajbafnezhad. (2016). Construction and validation of parental rating scale from children’s emotional intelligence (4-8 years old). i-Manager’s Journal on Educational Psychology, 9(4), 20. https://doi.org/10.26634/jpsy.9.4.5972

Bennetts, K., & Bone, J. (2019). Adult leadership and the development of children’s spirituality: Exploring montessori’s concept of the prepared environment. International Journal of Children's Spirituality, 24(4), 356–370. https://doi.org/10.1080/1364436x.2019.1685949